Monday, January 7, 2013
Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness
When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.
By Mayo Clinic staff Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.What is forgiveness?
Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
What are the benefits of forgiving someone?
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:- Healthier relationships
- Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse
Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?
When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.What are the effects of holding a grudge?
If you're unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.How do I reach a state of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:- Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
- Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
- When you're ready, actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you
- Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
Hisdaughter it is so wonderful how you are always looking for or writing wonderful things to keep us informed,healthy, and growing in the Lord! thank you
ReplyDeleteIt is wonderful to be reminded of the way that our mind and body are so connected that one can not be wounded in one part of our body and the rest of the body feels it as well!
ReplyDeleteI have found that it is impossible to maintain a strong and growing relationship with the Lord is your hold onto unforgiveness even when your anger or hurt feelings seem "justified". In this world, we are to expect trials and storms which can cause a lot of suffering for us. But, there is not way for us to grow unless we learn from each trial that God permits in our life. Holding onto unforgiveness puts a stop to growth. Even if the offender never changes you can change yourself. Ask God to forgive you for not coming to forgiveness then forgive the offender too. You can then experience the peace that surpasses understanding. Don't work from the flesh but from your spirit . From the time to accept Jesus into your heart and life, you have the Holy Spirit living inside you. Ask each day for God to show you if there is anything that is not of Him. He will reveal it to you. It may not be pleasant to confront but when God is finished with you, you can experience joy, love, peace and all the other fruits of the spirit. No one can take your joy away unless you let them. When we blow it, we can run to God in pray. Remember, it's not a sin to be tempted but it is a sin to hold gudges allowing it to root as bitterness. The only one who wins at that point is the enemy. Life in victory in Jesus. He is always there to help you.
ReplyDeleteMe and my husband have made it a daily habit to hold ourselves accountable to God then to each other. We ask ourselves a series of simple questions. If we have blown it that day and have yet to pray for forgiveness or ask the person we offended (example: we get impatient with the checker at the grocery store.) No matter how justified we felt at the time, that was not a Christ-like way to respond and our witness did not shine). After making the assessment before we go to bed. We settle things with the Lord. We can go to sleep with our peace,love, faith, truth and joy are restored. AMEN!